July 24th, 2012: Today I enjoyed a breakfast of perky’s with peanut butter and brown sugar and some hot cocoa to wash it down. Today is my last breakfast with the girls, Lillie and Paige. Today we will change tent/cook groups and they will be mixed gender. I’m a little nervous about this since I am the oldest by some number of years. I don’t want it to be awkward. I just hope I don’t get put with the two youngest boys….that might be very awkward. But, luckily I was placed with one young fella, Kasey from Washington D.C. and twenty year old Chase from Tampa, FL. I was nervous to share a tent with the boys, but excited at the same time because I had yet to really get to know these two.
We gave and received tent feedback this morning. I like this, but at times it was very difficult to come up with constructive criticism. We found ourselves nit picking, not because we were afraid to be “mean” but more so because we thoroughly enjoyed each other and felt we all worked well. I also enjoyed that we had to provide feedback for ourselves and share it. I do find that sometimes I can be very hard on myself which isn’t very productive at times, but then again it is always productive to hear your peers say they disagree with the criticism you supply to yourself. In my tent group I was told that I should pay attention to small details when I cook (like which direction to turn the stove to turn it off), and to relax more. Lillie told me she feels that in the beginning I was still stressing myself out and that I was definitely getting better. If there is someone that I should learn from in the “relax and chill” department, it is her. I respect her attitude towards things so much and I feel I could learn a lot from her. On the upside, I was told that I am positive, energetic, supportive and organized.
Today was a re-ration day. We went and hiked 1.2 miles down 600feet to pick up the food. Nate, Paige and I were on food inventory, so before we left we collected all the groups food, combined leftover food, made a list of what we had and will take what we still have out of the re-ration that horse packers are bringing us. We hiked down to our re-ration location and proceeded to wait for the packers. We were introduced by Rich to a game called Contact. We played this hilarious game as a large group for about two hours. At this point, I began to feel a little less bonded with the group. I think I imagine this sometimes though... or maybe put it on myself by not putting myself out there more. Believe it or not, I can be very socially timid and not want to step outside my comfort zone and put myself out there, even though I want to be involved. So that in turn, I think, makes others feel that I don't want to be involved. This is something I have struggled with my whole life, and I'm not sure the wilderness will change this aspect of me.
After playing for an extended period of time, we looked at our watches and realized that the horse packers had not shown up when they should have. Our three instructors met off to the side to decide a game plan. This was a rare occurrence. They decided that Andrew and Adam would return to camp for the Sat phone to see if there were messages about the re-ration, while Jared would take all of us and hike to the trail head to see if we could meet/find them.
We hiked like little ducklings following their mother (Jared). Not 5 minutes into the hike, a gust of freezing cold wind came through and the skies darkened and it began to downpour HAIL! We stopped and put on our rain gear as fast as we could while listening to the reminders of lightening stance that Jared was spewing out to us. The hail changed to a downpour of rain, then it happened. A bright strike of lightening immediately followed by a huge roar of thunder, the loudest thing ever! I stayed calm, but definitely did a duck move when it happened. We were signaled immediately by Jared to take our stances. I ran to a somewhat open area and sat on my pack and made myself as small as possible. We sat for about 8 minutes listening to thunder and watching bolts of lightning streak the skies. I was scared, but confident that I was safe. I didn’t want to look up, but the sounds were tempting so I did every once in a while. It was a pretty marvelous experience, but also pretty scary. Really makes you realize how fragile and spontaneous the world can be.
When the lightning and thunder were far enough apart to ensure safety, we proceeded to hike in the rain. We continued to get soaked, but I didn’t mind. It’s odd to think that at home, this would be irritating, I’d want to go inside and stay dry, etc. But here, there was no option and it was totally cool. We got wet, and did what we had to do. We didn’t wait. I liked this way of thinking and doing. I hope it stays with me…..
We got to the trailhead and found no horses. We waited 15 minutes in which time the skies turned blue, the sun shone brightly, and the rain disappeared. It’s kind of eerie the way the weather changes so abruptly in the Winds. We started to walk back towards camp when we met up with Andrew and Adam. They explained that the horse packers were delayed because of truck problems so we had to continue our hike away from camp to meet with them. We “deja vu’d” back to the trail head and continued on. Finally we noticed some boxes inside a bear fence. Oh boy. They left all our items for us, we assumed they must have had to leave to fix the truck. What does this mean?.... We were not able to get rid of our trash, we had to now carry an extra bear fence along with extra boxes and extra fuel cans and food. Extra weight. At first we were all a bit upset at this thought, but our positive instructor Andrew put it into perspective for us. “At least we have food and the gear we need.” Very true. Again, change the way you think. Stop thinking negative and focus on the positives of the situation and it makes it so much more bearable. We got straight to work divvying up the food and weight and then began the trek back to camp. We got back around 8:30pm, and had hiked close to a total of 15 miles that day. WHAT A DAY!
It was a short night since it was already late. Under the sunset, Chase, Kasey and I cooked gato gato (peanut butter pasta…yummy) and went to bed for the first time with my new tent mates. Needless to say… the night continued to be quite interesting from inside our tent. Apparently our tent mate Chase was a midnight moaner. He proceeded to moan before falling asleep. Me, not having gotten very good sleep yet, was still awake and laying there feeling kind of curious as to which tent mate it was and laughing to myself silently. All of a sudden out of the silence I hear Kasey inquire “what in the word…?!?!?!” I doubled over laughing so hard at that comment that it woke Chase up. We explained to Chase what he was doing and all of us laughed pretty hard. After a few minutes we returned to our attempted slumber to hear it once again…. And once again, after about 5 minutes of moaning, Kasey exclaims “man… I wanna know who you dreamin’ about?” Again, booming laughter from all three of us. It was a great first night of bonding for us. Good thing we all have a great sense of humor.
July 25th, 2012: HOORAY! 4 hours of sleep! What an eventful evening. For breakfast we had hash browns with sausage and cheese. Our lesson this morning was on protection placement (cams, tri cams, nuts, C3’s, etc.). It was really intriguing. I think I might like this. Makes you seem like a legit climber to know how to place protection!
We hiked to a crag and proceeded to climb 5 routes. There were a lot of crack climbing sections which was fun. Once we returned to base camp I got the privilege of helping Jared count and store all our climbing equipment. I really enjoyed doing this, not because I’m beginning to enjoy the company of someone closer in age (not necessarily maturity…haha), but because it allows to me learn more about the gear and get more hands-on time with it. While we were inventorying the equipment, the rest of the group went with Andrew and Adam to have a fly fishing lesson.
For dinner I cooked a rice stir fry with peppers and sausage. Jared then took the hot seat and I taught the environmental explorer on how the air works in the Winds. I thoroughly enjoy listening the lives of the instructors. I am mesmerized by their lives and how they choose to live them. You can tell Jared tries to be more humble and not gloat, but I feel that he has some pretty epic stories. I thought my lesson went well, but as a teacher, I am always critiquing myself and thinking that it could have gone better. Again my need to strive for perfection. Must be the gymnast in me.
Following the lesson we played some more cards and hung out for a bit. Jared pulled me aside to have an advisor meeting where he asks me questions about how I’m doing. Am I happy, comfortable, included, etc. We spoke about some of my worries about the age difference and maturity difference and bonding. I think I’ll be okay since that is what I do, I adjust to my situations. I just know that my bonding will not be the same with them as they will have with each other just because of my age difference. I mean, the girls have already changed their ways a bit, flirting with the boys and being very thoughtful of how they were presenting themselves, something that was not there when I shared a tent with them. But I guess that happens, and it’s something I will deal with.
Tonight, when Chase arrived back to our tent late, he woke me up and told me get my butt out of the tent. I obliged out of curiosity and I’m glad I did. Chase replied with “you’ve got to see these stars!!” I have gone to bed somewhat earlier almost every night we’ve been out here, so I tend to miss the stars. The nights I was up late, it was overcast and you could not see any. This was the first night that I was able to see the multitude of stars, covering every inch of the sky, shining brightly and making me feel an overwhelming feeling of calmness and happiness. It’s really quite amazing the simple things that can make you feel so special when you are out in the wilderness. I think I could really get used to this. I then continued on to dream of the stars and the life I would love to have.
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